Guess what, you can’t and it’s okay. We like to think that we can–feeling like we have that superman cape on, juggling work, kids, the house, the cooking, the cleaning, the marriage, the “me” time. Is it possible to do it all? Sure. Will it be perfect 100% of the time? Absolutely not and IT’S OKAY. Once I came to that realization and accepted it, I was much less stressed. A dear friend of mine once said (and I’m paraphrasing here) that we all make sacrifices. We decide what is the most important to us and that’s our main focus. We have to let other things (that are important, but not necessarily AS important to us) slide every now and then. And it’s okay. This is why you’re living your own life–you get to make choices as to what’s important to YOU.
I will be the first to admit that I like to think I can always make it work, but the reality is there is the occasional day when I am bogged down with work, the kids spend most of the time playing by themselves, trashing the playroom, the kitchen’s a mess, I’m exhausted eagerly waiting for 7 pm when I know it’ll be quiet and I can work, or even better, relax. But how do I feel when that day is over? Guilty. I have to remind myself that when those days happen, it doesn’t mean I love them any less. But (and this is the hard part) even when I tell myself it’s okay, deep down I feel like I “wasted” a day that I had with them and instead of having the perfect schedule and coloring, playing games, reading, writing, running around with them outside, I feel guilty. I feel like I let them down. When instead, I know I should be grateful that I had even those small windows of time with them throughout the day, they enjoyed playing with each other and I spent that time earning money so I can provide for them.
I LOVE days when I put them to bed and I feel like I’m on top of the world. I was up at 5, accomplished SO much work, the house is clean, we ate 3 delicious balanced meals (and they ended up in their bellies, not all over the floor), we were outside, inside, playing, educating, I’m energized and feeling successful. Successful in work and love. So honored to have them in my life–feeling like I have the perfect balance. Then the next day it could be the complete opposite and I’m feeling stressed and guilty again.
This is when you tell yourself: you have to give yourself a break & not expect everything to always be perfect. (Say that a few times.) You can’t always do it all, and it’s okay. You’re the one creating these expectations, so you’re the one that has to let yourself off the hook every now and then if you don’t live up to them.
I have to always be cognizant in switching over from working Mom to playing Mom, bouncing back and forth and attempting to do it seamlessly. This is why I strongly recommend creating a schedule & keeping work and playtime separate. When all else fails, I have found that the best solution is a dance party. Put on the music and dance, dance, dance. You will love the smiles & laughter, you’ll burn off your own stress, they’ll use up energy and everyone will be happier afterward. 🙂
Work 'n Play Mommy 